Just need to vent

[senmut]

I lost all of June for writing, because of my head space. I'm still fighting for words currently.

And made the mistake of looking at the due dates. I now have 19 days to produce 6600 words, and I am so afraid I will not do it. I love this project, the whole idea of the BigBang, but OMG, stress!

Anyone else in this boat?

Comments

[hammerxsword]

Oh, me too! Spent the first two months floundering, and so have only just happened upon plot. Words are now coming, but I've got a vid to do as well...the only reassuring thing is that it is the rough draft due - heh, let's say 'rough' is going to be the emphasis here!

[senmut]

+laughs+ Rough indeed!

I think my problem is that I tend to write slice-of-life everyday, but this thing which should have had a plot is just a big slice-of-life AU sequel to a book I love. I am afraid it will wind up boring and about as fun to read as an ingredients list, especially if I force word count.

[hammerxsword]

Slice of life can be interesting (and in fic terms, I often find very interesting as you can get to see characters 'off-duty' as it were) And sometimes forced word counts can help. Tis always surprising what the subconscious allows to throw up when I'm forced to bang the words out (and I'm going to have to manage about 1000 words a day for a while now). It's actually an incredible relief for me now that I'm actually writing, because the words themselves are actually firing off new ideas, which helps enormously. Still, pressure is on!

[senmut]

Sometimes pressure is a beautiful thing.

[cesy]

I have the same problem with my story at the moment, but even fewer words.

[senmut]

+wishes you speedy word counts and happy writing+

[ariestess]

I'm still at just under 1500 words actually written [not including my notes/research files]. But I'll get it all done...

[senmut]

Just about to clear the nine thousand mark. This is a fic that the idea has been present in my head in some form or other since 1987, but...one that I fear I will flop at. that makes it harder to struggle on the word count. With my history of longfics not really garnering much interest anyway, it's discouraging.

[ariestess]

*nods in sympathy* You know the huge AU that shatterpath and I write in rather religiously, which gets next to no interest for the most part. And yet, we continue to write it in anyway. As long as it makes YOU feel better/good/awesome/etc for writing/finishing it, that's all that should matter.

And yes, my piece is part of that AU, tho' theoretically, the characters being utilized are popular enough on their own to possibly garner more interest. We'll see...

[senmut]

I get it. I think the summer is not a good time for me, writing wise...

((...and I suddenly realize that I can probably post my Solstice story to my own journal now...))

Too many demands in the real world for me to have confidence on what I offer online.

[ariestess]

((Yep, go for it!))

Yeah, for me, sometimes any time of the year can be bad, but I just keep plugging along despite that... Or maybe because of it. I dunno. While writing and my muses can frustrate the bejeezus out of me sometimes, I wouldn't give them up if my life depended on it...

[senmut]

((I'll try to remember next time I'm on the big boy with the master files. Been using the baby boy so I can be in bed...))

I went from November 02 to November 05 without any significant writing that was shared with anyone, and precious little even in the form of attempts. I was, bluntly, going insane. ((yes, I think I could have gotten diagnosed. Between the depression that was being denied, and the growing lack of control on my anger/hostility issues, there were times I feared for myself and those around me))

[ariestess]

*nods* I know when I'm getting really depressed, because the writing gets really sporadic...

[hnsnrachel]

I'm not in exactly the same boat since I had 11k on the idea I was originally going with, but I just decided to change it to something that's been nagging at me for months, and have all of 900 words on that, so I've either gotta step up the pace on that one, or force through the block I've been having on the original idea, and neither option is particularly tempting :/

[senmut]

+ouch+

No, neither option would be appealing. I've told myself to kick at least 1000 words a day for the next 6, to get it worked out.

[annotated_em]

Sort of! I've got plenty of words, but I'm stuck in the morass of "I hate everything I've written and this plot is stupid and I don't care any more and no one's going to read it anyway and to fix it all I need another twenty thousand words and fuck it, I'm going to go read a book now."

[senmut]

+winces+

Yeah. It's hard, when you're pretty certain no one will really read it when it's done...or that it will disappoint the ones who helped you choose the idea to begin with.

[annotated_em]

*wry* Well, I figure at least a few people will read it. This is a fairly standard stage in my writing process. I just need to wait it out, and while I'm waiting, feed the brain soup with other Story and stuff.

Nevertheless, I contemplate that rough draft due date and cringe.

[senmut]

Best of luck to you!

[hellkitty]

I did meta, which I think only requires 5000 words, and I'm STILL only halfway there!!!!

*Needs to plonk butt in chair tonight!*

[senmut]

I hit 9k today. I think I can do this. But I'm not sure if there will be a full threesome built here, or just the ground work for it...

[tielan]

Eek. Now you've made me realise I have 19 days to produce 15,000 words and finish the story! :/

[senmut]

EEK! Oh noes! +hugs you+ Best of luck?

[fangirlism]

My head wasn't in it for May (found out early in the month that one of my best friends died - took me a long time to get out of that funk), and I decided it wasn't even worth it to try. I dropped both my big bangs.

So, I feel you, and I commend you for still trying to get this done.

[senmut]

+hugs you for your loss+

[fangirlism]

Thank you. I'm doing a lot better now.

Edit: It was just really hard, at first, because she was a fandom friend, and we'd discuss fic a lot (and were in talks to co-authoring a fic together), so the will to write just wasn't there, you know?

[senmut]

Oh dear. I do get it.